Better to have kids early in life or late?
A classmate from high school posted photos on Facebook of her son’s recent graduation from high school.
My son just celebrated his third birthday.
I really have no idea which one of us followed the better path for child-bearing.
The upside of having kids late in life? I’m much more mature than I was at the age of 18 (or 28, for that matter). I have the wisdom and patience of a 39-year-old as opposed to the aggression and myopic perspective of a 19-year-old. We have a very stable household and a solid income. Even during these difficult economical times, thanks to my wife’s financial genius, we’re living comfortably (so long as neither of us loses a job).
The downside of not having kids early in life? When I was younger I had much more energy and health. I’m more tired now than ever. I actually dread a little when my son asks me to lift him up and toss him around or run after him. There’s rarely a day when some part of my body doesn’t hurt or I’m feeling a weird pain somewhere.
Also, why didn’t anyone tell me you hit 39 and can’t stop thinking about your own mortality? At some point almost every day I wonder if I’m going to die and how that’s going to affect my wife and child. So naturally I should be working out and living healthy, but of course I’m tired all the time and it’s easier to eat crap and talk your way out of exercising.
And finally, I worry about the fact that when my son graduates college I’ll probably be 62 vs having had a child in my early 20’s when he’d be out of the house before I turned 50.
Oh and one more thing, we have one child. I think we’d both like more. Try convincing a pair of aging, frazzled, tired, full-time employed parents that they have the energy for a second kid.
I really have no idea which is the better option, the vigor of youth or the stability of age? I’m sure there are plenty of studies that show the benefits of both sides.
Maybe this is all in my head. I do tend to fixate on things to the point of paralysis. Maybe I could just relax about it all, be happy for all my blessings, realize it’s just life and you roll the dice with what you have. Geez… I wasn’t such a big worrier back in the day either.
I’d love to hear from others people and see what you have to say about when’s the best age to have children.
- Hart: Kids need to experience setbacks to mature (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
- Motherlode: Loving Parents, Unhappy Children (parenting.blogs.nytimes.com)
- Too Young (mpcenglish.wordpress.com)