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Cookie Recipe #4

December 17, 2010
Neiman Marcus Cookies

Image by whosdamike via Flickr

(The fourth in a four-part series – the Walsh family cookie recipes for the Christmas Season. With this cookie post, you may look forward to the return of the weird and ranty blogs you’ve come to loathe love.)

Here’s the biggest, the best, and the newest of my cookie recipes – all thanks to urban legend and the power of the Internet. Around 2000, I was sent the following e-mail regarding the famed Neiman-Marcus cookie scam. Thanks to the power of urban legend killer snopes.com the e-mail was rendered meaningless, however the cookie recipe was pure gold. I’ve reposted the well-known bogus e-mail below.

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Free Neiman-Marcus Cookie Recipe

This is a true story… Please forward it to everyone that you can…. You will have to read it to believe it….

My daughter and I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas & decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the “Neiman-Marcus Cookie”. It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and the waitress said with a small frown “I’m afraid not.” Well” I said, “would you let me buy the recipe?”

With a cute smile, she said YES”. I asked how much and she responded, “Only two fifty, it’s a great deal!” I said with approval, “just add it to my tab”.. Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from Neiman-Marcus and it was $285.00. I looked again and remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, “Cookie Recipe – $250.00”. That’s outrageous!!!

I called Neiman’s Accounting Dept. and told them that the waitress said it was “two-fifty,” which clearly does not mean “two hundred and fifty dollars” by any POSSIBLE interpretation of the phrase. Neiman-Marcus refused to budge.. They would not refund my money, because according to them, “What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe – we absolutely will not refund your money at this point.”

I explained to her the criminal statutes which govern fraud in Texas. I threatened to refer them to the Better Business Bureau and the State’s Attorney General for engaging in fraud. I was basically told, “Do what you want, we dont give a damn, and we’re not refunding your money.” I waited a moment, thinking of how I could get even,or even try to get any of my money back. I just said, “Okay, you folks got my $250.00, and now I’m going to have $250.00 worth of fun.”

I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the United States with an e-mail account has a $250.00 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus… for free..She replied, “I wish you wouldn’t do this” I said, “Well you should have thought of that before you ripped me off”, and slammed down the phone on her..

So, here it is!!! Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I paid $250.00 dollars for this… I don’t want Neiman-Marcus to ever get another penny off of this recipe….

(Recipe may be halved)

Ingredients:

2 cups butter

4 cups flour (sifted)

2 tsp. baking soda

2 cups granulated sugar

2 cups brown sugar

5 cups oatmeal (blended to a fine powder)

24 oz. chocolate chips

1 tsp. salt

1 8 oz. Hershey bar (grated)

4 eggs

2 tsp. baking powder

3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)

2 tsp. vanilla

Directions:
Cream together the (room temperature) butter and both sugars.

Add eggs and vanilla; mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda.

Add chocolate chips, Hershey bar and nuts.

Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet.

Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.

Makes 112 cookies.. Have Fun!!!

This is not a joke – this is a true story… Ride free citizens!!!! This isn’t some stupid chain letter either.. pass it on.. if you don’t, you won’t die or get dumped.. you’ll just do the world an injustice…

—————————

So that’s the story, and I really need to thank whomever sent out that bogus e-mail for helping me to bake the greatest cookie EVER!

Naturally, I’ve made a few improvements to the cookie recipe:

– use bittersweet baker’s chocolate or any very dark chocolate instead of a plain Hershey’s bar

– use dark chocolate Ghiradelli chocolate chips

– use pre-chopped walnuts or pecans

– take your time blending the oatmeal, unless you have a really good food processor, just go one cup at a time

– don’t hand grate the chocolate, it takes forever, use a blender or food processor. Just make sure to grate the chocolate in short bursts so it doesn’t melt. Also, make sure you blend the oatmeal before the chocolate or you run the risk of gumming up you blender/processor

– if you don’t have a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer this recipe is going to be a workout, you need the wrist strength and determination of an 80-year-old Italian grandmother to mix this cookie dough properly

– I suggest rolling the balls between the size of a walnut and a golf ball

– There is a ton of prep time for these cookies, so make sure you have a few hours free

– It’s a fairly pricey recipe too, I only make them once a year, for Christmas

That’s it, you now have all four of my great cookie recipes (peanut butter cookiechocolate cracklepressed cookie/spritz) . Go forth and fatten your friends and family!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Martha permalink
    December 17, 2010 10:50 AM

    This lady should know nothing at Neiman Marcus is less than $250. Come on. Im going to give this one a try. Thanks Mike.

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